Dealing with the death of a loved one can be a difficult, emotional, and overwhelming time. While no one can detail every step that should be taken after a loss, our hope is that the following checklist can serve as a rough guide for some of the tasks that should be attended to in the minutes, days, weeks, and months following a death. Some of these tasks will not be applicable (depending on your relationship to the deceased). These tasks may be done by surviving family, clergy, an executor of the estate, a lawyer, or a family friend. Please utilize this tool to help delegate tasks and to ask for help and clarification where needed.             

Immediately:

• Breathe. Pray.
• Choose an ally that can help you complete tasks over the next few days to weeks.  The individual(s) that you choose should be someone strong enough to assist you as you process the emotional, spiritual, and financial decisions that are upcoming. They are there to support you, not take over for you. They can also help protect you from over eager friends and family
• Call your ally. Tell them what you need help with. Set boundaries early that your ally can help you to enforce (e.g. times for visitors to come to the house, the number of visitors that you would like to have, etc).
• Notify family members
• Notify your pastor and faith community.
• Notify your friends and the friends of the loved one.
• Notify your employer of your absence.
• Notify your loved one’s employer and/or school.
• Decide on organ donation.
• Choose a Funeral Home. Call and make arrangements for transportation and plan a time to go in for a meeting.
• Arrange for someone to take care of your loved one’s dependents (e.g. children, pets, etc).
• Collect your loved one’s items: keys, wallet/purse, phone, etc. Put these items in a safe, locked place.
• Get a brightly colored bag to hold all documents and important information.
• Get a notebook and several pens. Place in the bag.  A folder is also helpful.
• Locate key documents related to your loved one: will, Insurance policies, social security card, driver’s license, marriage certificate, and military service records. Place the items in your bag.
• Secure all valuables in your home (preferably in a safe). There may be a lot of family and friends that come to visit. Ensure that all jewelry, money, or keepsakes that you do not wish to share or pass on to other family are put away. Lock any doors that you do not want others entering (e.g. the bedroom of the deceased).
• Before you leave to go take care of your loved one, make sure you have your wallet/purse, keys, a light sweater or jacket, a bottle of water, Kleenex and a snack. The food and water can be of use to you after long hours making arrangements or may be a blessing to other family members. ALSO grab any medication that you may need over the next few hours and put it in your bag along with your reading glasses (if applicable). Some individuals feel more comfortable when they have hand sanitizer and masks (as you may be hugging or shaking hands with a lot of people).
• Lock up your house if you are leaving. Set your alarm. Make sure your security cameras are on (if applicable).
• Ensure your loved one’s car, home, etc. are locked and secure.
• YOU need to eat, sleep, take your medication, and attend to your own health. 

Next:

• Call your lawyer (if applicable).
• Notify life insurance as soon as possible. They may be able to coordinate with the funeral home to help cover expenses.
• Talk to your family and read through your loved one’s wishes. Talk to your faith community. Make preliminary decisions on what to do with your loved one’s remains (burial vs. cremation) and about memorial services (time, day, type).
• Meet with the funeral home. Make final decisions regarding burial type (or cremation), service type and location, viewings, casket or urn,  burial site, headstone, etc.  
• Call your pastor and faith community. Coordinate viewings and funeral (if applicable). Make after-service meal plans (if desired).
• Choose an outfit for your loved one. Decide on jewelry and other accessories.  Deliver these to the funeral home.
• Attend to email, Facebook, and other social media accounts. Decide what you will write on your own social media pages and on your loved one’s social media pages.
• YOU need to eat, sleep, take your medication, and attend to your own health. 

Then:

• Write an obituary. Publish it on social media and/or through your local paper. Remember, there are unscrupulous people who watch obituaries to see when people will be away from home at funerals. Be careful what you publish and make sure that you keep your home secured. You may ask friends and family to keep a watchful eye on your home, particularly during hours you will be away at the wake or funeral.
• Call friends and family to request their assistance with the funeral services. You may want to ask people to serve in the following ways: memory book/sign in table, ushers, casket bearers, singers/musicians, saying a prayer, giving a eulogy, reading Bible verses, reading letters  that come in from family members, serving food, gathering flowers before the funeral to arrange at the front, gathering flowers after the funeral to take to your house, etc. Include key people in the funeral program.
• You may choose to write a eulogy, prayer or “speech” for the service.
• Gather pictures from family and friends for the funeral programs and/or a memorial slide show.
• Write the funeral program. Order copies (more than you think that you need).
• Notify friends and family of the funeral arrangements. Help friends and family with lodging and travel arrangements.
• Decide what, if any, keepsakes and mementos you will keep for your family and what can be given away to visiting friends and family. Lock away the things you want to keep. (Be mindful of stipulations for distribution dictated by the will or by probate laws).Don’t make large decisions about gifts right now. Check with family members before making big decisions.
• YOU need to eat, sleep, take your medication, and attend to your own health.  Don’t forget to attend to basic hygiene.

Later:

• Contact the Social Security office and notify them of your loved one’s passing.
• If the person was a veteran, notify the VA of the person’s passing. Check with the VA to see what, if any, assistance may be available.
• Decide on the need for crowdfunding. Set up a “Go Fund Me” or have friends/family assist.
• As the post office to forward the person’s mail.
• If the person did not live with you, make sure that you take their plants and pets to a place where they can be cared for. Throw away the trash in their home. Empty their refrigerator of any food that may spoil.
• Choose your own outfit for the funeral. Choose comfortable shoes and dress in layers. Outfits with pockets for Kleenex are preferable. Decide if you would like to wear a veil or glasses for privacy. Choose any accessories that you may want to wear to pay homage to the loved one (e.g. their favorite color, a beloved jewelry item, etc).
• Straighten your home for guests. Decide if you have room for guests to stay the night in your home and arrange their rooms for them. Clear out the fridge and freezer for the extra food that people may bring over. Decide which restroom guests will use and make sure that it is cleaned and stocked with supplies.
• YOU need to eat, sleep, take your medication, and attend to your own health.  Attend to your own spiritual needs.  Take time to pray, read your Bible, and go to church.

Much Later:

• Order more death certificates than you think you will need. A lot of companies and agencies will want an original copy rather than a photocopy. 10-12 is a good number to order.
• Contact your financial advisor (if applicable).
• Write to the person’s credit card companies and include the death certificate.
• Collect deeds and titles to property. Make sure that they are in a safe place. Your mortgage company may forgive your mortgage if one of the owners of the debt has passed away (depending on the fine print in your mortgage paperwork). Take your loved one off of the mortgage or deed (if applicable). Talk to your lawyer or call your mortgage company to find our more information.
• If the person was a renter, notify the landlord. Make arrangements to clear out the person’s home and end the lease.
• Gather your automobile title and registration papers. Make sure that they are in a safe place. Your car loan may be forgiven if the owner has passed away (depending on the fine print in your loan documents). Switch the car registration and title to the survivor’s name. Talk to your lawyer or call your bank to find out more information.
• Gather information related to financials: bank account numbers, stock certificates, etc. Call the bank. Certain credit unions have death benefits for spouses. You may want to stop any automatic withdrawals that may be coming out. You may not want to (if doing so, for instance, may lead to a utility being disconnected). You may want to shut an individual account, but you may also not want to. Talk to family and/or legal council before making financial decisions.
• Contact the Division of Motor Vehicles and cancel your loved one’s license to avoid identity theft
• You may contact the office of voter registry to also notify them of your loved one’s death in order to avoid identity theft.
• Contact all three credit reporting agencies and notify them of your loved one’s death. Monitor credit report to check for identity theft.
• Make a list of monthly bills and transfer them to survivor’s name. Change auto-draft instructions so that bills continue to get paid.
• Cancel recurring subscriptions or change the name to the survivor’s name.
• Attend (again) to email, Facebook, and other social media accounts. Decide which to close.
• Cancel health insurance, car and renter’s insurance (if applicable). If your loved one had Medicare, including any supplemental Medicare insurance, contact Medicare directly to cancel the policy.
• Cancel any upcoming appointments, events or trips scheduled that were scheduled for your loved one
• File a tax return for the deceased.
• Check with the person’s employer for potential retirement benefits.
• If the person was in school, check with the college or school for potential posthumous graduation/ degree granting.
• Read the cards and letters that have arrived. Write thank you letters to family and friends.
• YOU need to eat, sleep, take your medication, and attend to your own health.  Keep breathing and moving forward. Seek outside help from a counselor or faith leader if you need assistance.

After

• Ensure your own estate planning, including life insurance, is taken care of.
• Continue to take care of yourself and your needs.