(Remember, hearing is the last thing to go. These things should not be discussed with the dying person or around them).

DON’T:

• Make jokes/ use euphemisms (e.g. Buying the Farm, Kicking the Can, etc.)
• Discuss your own beliefs about why they are dying (e.g. “you shouldn’t have smoked all of those cigarettes).
• Say something trite about death (e.g. “Heaven needs a new angel”)
• Focus solely on your feelings- (Don’t make their death about you)
• Discuss how inconvenienced you are.
• Discuss how you would feel (or how you would act) in their shoes.
• Tell them how they should be acting or feeling (e.g. “try to stay positive,” “your kids need you to be strong)
• Talk about their appearance or smell (to them OR around them)
• Try to hurry them to separate their estate or divvy up possessions (with them or around them)
• Make accusations, deliver insults, or start fights
• Don’t rehearse unhappy memories or bring up old grudges (unless you are trying to ask for or give forgiveness)
• Insult their home or lack of housekeeping
• Restrict their indulgences (e.g. if they want a candy bar or cigarette)
• Refuse them pain meds out of fear of addiction
• Deny their religious beliefs and traditions

Don’t say:

• “I know how you feel.”
• “You’ll be healed.”
• “If you pray hard enough…”
• “Things happen for a reason.”
• “It is God’s will.”
• “When it’s your time, it’s your time.”
• “You’re looking thinner.”
• “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.”
• “This happens to all of us eventually.”